Life: I’ve created a monster

I wish I could say this was an unusual sight. In reality this is the sight I am greeted with from Every. Single. Room in my house.

I have four boys. Oliver is 11, Zachary is 7, Darwin is 5 and Ezra is 2. My hands and my heart are both very full.

My head is full of to dos and all the things I haven’t done. I assume even more so than most due to the fact my children all require different levels of additional help and support.

I could blame the fact that I have a child diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Condition and another awaiting the same diagnosis.

Or the fact I have a child with Pica (meaning he eats non edible items) or a child with hearing problems and speech and language difficulties. For what essentially are my failings.

Here is the long and short of it. I am extremely messy, my husband is pretty messy and my kids have followed our examples and are full on slobs.

Now for the longest time I have blamed my childhood. I have used the fact that we never really had a routine or were never expected to do or care for anything, as an excuse. But it’s all a load of crap!

Over the years I have focussed on my boys being kind, caring, thoughtful boys. I have tried to model open-mindedness, respect and empathy. I would say for their ages my boys are pretty good at these things.

I have also placed importance on them learning who they are and what they like. Being creative through art, music, acting and other activities has been important too.

However, there is an area where I have placed no importance. Routine, Respect for our belongings and really fundamental life skills such as: cleaning, organisation and consistency.

This has lead me to a place of chaos. A place where I feel like I am drowning in my own life. A place where in all honesty, I feel like I cannot cope. Something has to change!

So, with my new year intentions ringing in my ears. Changes are happening! We moved the boys rooms around and our eldest now has his own room.

I am slowly starting to implement new concepts such as; a clear floor policy {the boys bedroom’s floors must be clear before the go to bed}, Oliver is now responsible for making his bed and putting his clean washing away.

Zachary and Darwin can now select their own pjs and clothes and dress themselves. These small acts are giving them a sense of independence, but also taking these tasks off my daily to do list. I cannot explain what a relief this is mentally.

Every year for at least the past decade my News Resolution has included something along the lines of be more organised. However, I haven’t really thought about the habits we need to change as a family.

I alone did not create the mess, but I must now be the leader aka Mother, my family needs to lead us to a place of happiness.

The middle two boys room has been sorted, Everything has a place and it is no longer unreasonable for me to expect them to keep it clean. Oliver’s room has now been done too, so now it’s onto the rest of the house!

Wish me luck.

all the love, Cherie

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